"When we start to meditate or to work with any kind of spiritual discipline,we often think that somehow we're going to improve, which is a subtle aggression against who we really are. It's a bit like saying, "If I jog I'll be a much better person." "If I had a nicer house I'd be a better person." "If I could meditate and calm down I'd be a better person." Or the scenario may be that we find fault with others. We might say, "If it weren't for my husband I'd have a perfect marriage." "If it weren't for the fact that my boss and I can't get on, my job would be just great." And, "If it weren't for my mind, my meditation would be just excellent."
But loving-kindness ~maitri~ towards ourselves doesn't mean getting rid of anything. Maitri means that we can still be crazy, we can still be angry. We can still be timid or jealous or full of feelings of unworthiness. Meditation practice isn't about trying to throw ourselves away and become something better. It's about befriending who we are already."
Pema Chodron, "Comfortable With Uncertainty"